princeowl:

what the hell r u doing unfollowing me while im asleep that is disrespectful

agirlnamedagnes:

This is what my husband and I purchased at the grocery store the other day.

We don’t have kids.

We are adults. We pay bills.
And drink water from a whale.

spenceromg:

do your eyes ever randomly go out of focus and then you are too lazy to focus them back in and just stare at nothing for a while

internetmessiah:

Hello, 911? *twirls phone cord around finger* sooooo how was your day? Did you arrest any bad guys?…No you hang up first! Hello? 911?

xxxkit:

imagine niagara falls….. but chocolate milk

(Source: asscrab)

blessthebutt:

my favorite flavor of cake is more

(Source: asscop)

kanyewestevil:

WE ONLY USE LEASHES BECAUSE DOGS CANT HOLD HANDS

(Source: kanyewesticle)

verysmalldeer:

nevecampbell:

I just wanna s*** some d***

HOW MANY DOGS ARE YOU LOOKING TO SELL

guy:

it’s 2014 and having a valid and logical argument with your parents is still “talking back”

claydols:

my eyes change colour depending on my swag levels. they are the darkest brown when my swag levels are at a maximum. i have never seen them change

(Source: basedgosh)